i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
