I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
