do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
