I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
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