I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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