She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
