btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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