come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
