So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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