guys are only as good as the porn they watch
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
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