i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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