New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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