girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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