i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
