guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
