I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize
