did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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