My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
