happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
