So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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