Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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