Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
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