doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
