margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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