I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
