also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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