You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
