i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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