i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Randomize
