just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Randomize
