Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
