saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Randomize
