This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
