I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
