Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I'm always down for nudity.
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