I want to have your abortion
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
