I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
