is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
