actually, I'm a sock model
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
