Barsexuality is the new black.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
