It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
