wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
