I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
