She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
