OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I checked into jail on foursquare
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I need a hoe opinion
go on
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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