why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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