We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
