it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
