So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Randomize
