If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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