They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Randomize
